Loving the Hard to Love: A Lesson in Grace
I wish I could say that loving others comes naturally to me, but the truth is, there have been times when I have struggled. Times when someone’s words cut deep, when their actions felt intentional, when every instinct in me wanted to shut down and walk away. But in those moments, God has always gently reminded me of something humbling—I, too, have been hard to love.
When I Was Hard to Love
There was a time when I ran from God, when I questioned His love, when I built walls around my heart so no one could get too close. I was stubborn, broken, and at times, downright unlovable. But God never stopped pursuing me.
Romans 5:8 speaks directly to this: “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
God didn’t wait for me to get my act together before He loved me. He didn’t love me because I deserved it—He loved me because it’s who He is. And that love changed everything.
Seeing Others Through God's Eyes
I won’t pretend that it’s easy to love people who seem determined to push us away. The ones who gossip, the ones who misunderstand, the ones who lash out in pain. But when I pause and remember how God loved me in my hardest moments, I realize I have no right to withhold that same love from someone else.
God’s Word is clear: “The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead, He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9).
If God’s heart is for all to come to Him, that includes the people I find difficult. That includes the ones who hurt me. That includes the ones I’d rather avoid.
Praying for Those Who Hurt Us
Jesus didn’t just tell us to love our enemies—He lived it. As He hung on the cross, suffering for sins He didn’t commit, He spoke these words: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34).
If Jesus could forgive the very people who crucified Him, can’t I choose to extend grace to those who have wronged me?
I’ve found that the key to loving difficult people is prayer. It’s hard to stay angry at someone when you’re genuinely asking God to bless them, soften their heart, and draw them closer to Him. Over time, God shifts my perspective, helping me see that their actions often come from a place of hurt, fear, or brokenness—just as mine once did.
Love Changes Everything
Loving the hard to love isn’t about excusing bad behavior or pretending pain doesn’t exist. It’s about choosing to reflect Jesus, even when it’s difficult. It’s about being a vessel of His grace, knowing that love has the power to soften even the hardest heart—including my own.
The next time I’m faced with someone who is difficult to love, I want to ask myself:
- How has God shown me love when I didn’t deserve it?
- How can I be a reflection of His grace?
- Have I prayed for this person and asked God to help me love them as He does?
I don’t always get it right. Some days, my first instinct is still to withdraw. But I’m learning that love—real, Christ-centered love—isn’t about my feelings. It’s a choice. And it’s the same choice God made when He loved me at my worst.
May we all choose love, even when it’s hard. Because love changes everything.
0 Comments