There are times in life when the people who are supposed to be closest to us—family, longtime friends, even a spouse—can feel so far away. We hope they will understand us, show up for us, and love us the way we need, but instead we’re met with silence, indifference, or actions that seem to disregard our feelings. It hurts deeply, and if we’re not careful, that hurt can settle into our hearts as resentment. There’s a unique ache when family or loved ones can’t show up for you the way you expect. Maybe they were never taught how to express love, maybe their own pain keeps them distant, or maybe they are loving you the best way they know how—but it still doesn’t meet the need you feel. For a long time, I believed that if someone truly cared for me, they would automatically know how to show it. But expectations often set us up for disappointment, and disappointment can harden the heart if it’s not surrendered to God. Over time, I’ve had to learn, often the hard way, that I can’t control how others love me or respond to me, but I can control how I choose to respond to them—and my response matters to God. The truth is, my identity and worth can’t rest on someone else’s ability to love me well. Psalm 27:10 says, “Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me,” and that verse reminds me that my Heavenly Father loves me perfectly, without condition or limit.
I also have to be honest—there were seasons in my life when I didn’t just feel hurt, I wanted to hurt back. Not in a physical way, but in my thoughts, words, and actions. If someone wounded me, I would think of things I could say or do that I believed would cause them disappointment or pain. At the time, it felt like justice, but in reality, it wasn’t justice at all—it was me playing right into the hands of the enemy. The Lord calls us to something better. Romans 12:19 tells us, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends… It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord.” When I stepped back and looked honestly at what I was doing, I realized that my attempts to hurt them were really hurting me even more. Bitterness doesn’t heal wounds; it deepens them. And even if the other person felt a sting, I was the one walking around with the weight of anger, keeping the wound open instead of letting God heal it.
Just because someone doesn’t show up for me the way I want—even disregarding my feelings at times—does not give me the right to hold a grudge, repay hurt with hurt, or stop being kind. God’s Word calls me to a higher way: “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:21). “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you” (Luke 6:27). “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). Forgiveness doesn’t mean saying what they did was okay; it means releasing them from the debt I feel they owe me and trusting God to handle the rest.
When I stopped focusing on who wasn’t there for me and began to notice who was, my heart began to shift. Sometimes it’s the friend who sends a quick “thinking of you” text, the church sister who prays for you without being asked, or the neighbor who always waves when you pass by. These people are gifts from God—reminders that He has not forgotten you. Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity,” and Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 reminds us that “two are better than one… if either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” God often uses unexpected people to fill the gaps left by others, showing His love in ways we might have overlooked.
Through it all, I’ve learned that no matter who comes and goes in my life, one thing remains unshakable—God is always near. Hebrews 13:5 promises, “I will never leave you nor forsake you,” and Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” His love fills every gap, His presence brings peace, and His faithfulness steadies my heart when human relationships fall short.
Prayer: Father, thank You for the people You’ve placed in my life. Help me to forgive those who couldn’t be who I wanted or needed them to be. Protect my heart from bitterness and teach me to respond with love, even when I’ve been hurt. Thank You for surrounding me with people who love me—whether they hold a title in my life or not. Keep me from seeking revenge, and remind me that vengeance belongs to You alone. Above all, thank You for being the One who never leaves, never fails, and never stops loving me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
The blog post reflects on the profound meaning of Christmas, emphasizing the birth of Jesus Christ as a testament to the gift of forgiveness. It underscores how Christ's coming signifies hope, grace, and redemption, and calls each of us to extend forgiveness mirroring His sacrifice. The narrative draws on a personal encounter with an individual battling unforgiveness, illustrating the burdens carried when we hold onto resentment and the healing that can come through forgiveness.
The article further delves into the spiritual significance of forgiving others, citing biblical passages that reinforce the necessity of forgiveness in living a Christ-centered life. It explains that forgiveness liberates us from the shackles of bitterness and aligns us with the heart of God. The teachings of scriptures such as Romans 5:8 and Matthew 6:14-15 are referenced to underscore the unparalleled love and forgiveness Christ offers, urging readers to emulate these virtues in their own lives.
During the joyous celebration of Christ’s birth, the blog encourages a period of reflection and action, offering practical steps to embrace forgiveness. It highlights prayer, meditation on Christ’s example, vocal declarations of forgiveness, and self-grace as critical paths to releasing the pain of the past. Ultimately, it calls on readers to see Christmas as an opportunity for healing and restoration, resulting in the freedom and peace only Jesus can provide.
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